Parenting Fail: When Honesty Gets Awkward in Public (Thanks, Kids!)

Teaching kids to be honest sounds simple, but is it? Here's just one example of a parenting fail that involves how awkward it can get when kids are honest in public.... Can you relate?

Be honest, kids.

Wait –

If you’re too honest, then you’re rude.

Yes, sweet child, you’re absolutely right about that dude… but you’re socially wrong.

It’s better if we lie.

Oops.

Wait.

I’m not supposed to teach my kids to lie.

Confused?

So am I.

So, let’s talk about STINK.

Two boys and a Mom at a store, reacting to a horrible smell. Image generated with Adobe Firefly

Public stink.

Unavoidable.

Undeniable.

Unspeakable.

We’re in line. Checkout. Target. I smell it before they do.

BO: a body odor combo of sweat, pee, maybe expired meat... too many people are behind us to flee.

And I’m thinking: Oh, crap. Well, something stronger than that.

Both my kids wrinkle their noses, turn to me, eyes wide – and here it comes. There's nowhere to hide.

“It’s stinky, Mom,” my kid says. “It’s stinky!”

My youngest chimes in: “What’s that smell?”

Both boys go full detective, leaning into the checker.

“It’s stinky!”

The checker blinks.

I intercept. “Something is sticky!” (I lie). “The floor – sticky. Something must have spilled.” I force a laugh.

I look at my boys – the Mom Look.

“Sticky,” I repeat. “It’s sticky.”

But the stench – Oh, the BO stench.

My youngest folds his arms. “It stinks.”

Someone is laughing. Behind me is a teen boy. He’s losing it, hand over mouth.

“But so stinky, Mom!” My kid's eyes are desperate for me to listen.

But I am. I know. I know.

A huge chuckle erupts from that teen boy, who stumbles out of line, hunched forward, visibly shaking with his laughter.

So many other eyes. I feel like it’s me they’re after.

“Maybe a spilled soda,” I say to the checker, the poor confused checker (the smelly checker).

I crouch down. “We’ll talk about it in the car,” I whisper to my boys. "Not here. Let it go.”

I give the checker an awkward smile.

He grabs a walkie-talkie thing. “Hey, I need a mop at checkout five.” Then he says to my boys, “We’ll get it cleaned up. No worries.”

Oh, crap. Well, something stronger than that.

My boys look at me, confused, and they look at the bottom of their shoes.

Yes, yes, I lied. I said it was sticky.

And now?

It is.

This moment. This lesson. This weird gray line between the “truth” and “don’t-hurt-someone’s feelings.”

This is parenting.

Sticky.

Mom Footnote: Yes, we had to go back there eventually. I’m getting better at the self-checkout. And for more awkward stories, check out our post on idioms.

Jen with Cool Wiring