Early Signs of Autism: What I Saw, What I Learned, and What I Celebrate Now

Autism is too often framed as something to fear. I want to offer a different story – one that looks at early autism signs through curiosity, growth, and joy.

I’m a neurodivergent mom raising two neurodivergent kids. For the past nine years, I’ve been parenting solo and learning as I go. What I’m sharing here isn’t expert advice. It’s lived experience.

Konrad, age one

When my oldest son Konrad was diagnosed at age three, my idea of autism didn’t match the child in front of me.

Back then, I thought autism meant “Rain Man” – a narrow, outdated stereotype I’d absorbed without realizing it.

But the joyful, curious kid who loved Josh Groban, spinning to music, and swinging – and who also became overwhelmed in noisy, brightly lit spaces – was autistic, too.

Because autism doesn’t look one way. It’s a spectrum of different ways of thinking, sensing, and being.

I’m sharing what early signs of autism looked like in our home – not as “red flags,” but as meaningful parts of who my child is. Some signs were challenging at first because I didn’t yet understand what they meant. Others were beautiful right from the start. All of them mattered.

Let’s begin with one of the earliest and most noticeable areas for us: sensory differences.

Sensory Differences and Sensitivities

For Konrad, the signs of sensory sensitivities and overload showed up early – even before he was born.

In my third trimester, I went to a movie, and it was loud. Every time a sudden burst of sound came through the speakers, Konrad flinched and kicked, almost like he was startled awake inside me. If we were walking and a car horn blared nearby, he’d respond in the same way – flinching and moving around as if trying to get away from the noise.

As a baby, the vacuum cleaner seemed like a monster to him. I couldn’t use it while he was home, so my mom would take him on walks while I cleaned. Trying to vacuum with him in the house just didn’t feel right. It overwhelmed him completely.

Public restrooms were especially hard. The sound of a toilet flushing could make him jump so hard I worried he’d fall off the changing table. Hand dryers had the same effect. Thank goodness for quiet family bathrooms.

Clipping nails was another intense sensory challenge. Just seeing the clippers would make Konrad freeze up in fear. I tried trimming his nails while he slept, but even then, he often woke up and reacted with panic.

Konrad swinging at a park, a favorite activity

These are just a few examples of how early I began noticing that certain environments and sensations overloaded Konrad. His sensory experiences were real, and they needed to be respected.

While some overstimulating situations were hard to avoid, we also discovered ways to help him feel safe and calm again. Swinging was one of the first and most effective ways. It was – and still is – a favorite activity.

Now, at age 12, sensory sensitivities are still one of the areas where he needs the most support. Whether it’s a tiny hole in his sock or the chaos of a crowded space, we’re still learning together, figuring out how to navigate overload, use supports, and create environments that work for him, not against him.

Motor Differences

Konrad is a toe walker – he walks on the balls on his feet, or his “tippy toes.”

When babies are learning to walk, toe walking is common and typically nothing to worry about. In many cases, it fades naturally as kids grow. But when toe walking continues into the toddler and preschool years, it can sometimes be a sign of autism – or other differences in motor development or sensory processing. I didn’t know that at the time. I just knew this was how Konrad moved.

Happy, playful Konrad

Toe walking is still a part of how Konrad moves through the world today, and it might even be part of what makes him such a skilled spinner.

Around 21 months, Konrad started spinning. At first it was slow and exploratory. Over time, it became fast and fluid, marked by beautifully timed hand movements and little jumps that matched the downbeats of the music.

Spinning brought him calm. It wasn’t random. It was joy, and it was self-regulation. (You can read more about how his spinning evolved here).

His also showed remarkable balance from a young age. I remember him confidently walking across the back of the couch – something that definitely made me nervous! On the playground, he navigated high spaces with ease, balancing fearlessly. I was always ready to catch him, but I never had to. His coordination and body awareness were truly impressive.

Interests, Focus, & Perception

Special Interests

Around six months old, Konrad developed a special interest in Josh Groban’s music. When nothing else would calm him, a Josh Groban concert could. His music became one of my most reliable tools to help Konrad relax and regulate. For several years, Josh’s songs were the soundtrack of our home – calming Konrad, my younger son, and me.

Special interests are common among many autistic people. Some people call them "obsessions." But no. Konrad's interest in Josh Groban was beautiful and important to his development. (To read more about how this special interest supported Konrad’s development, click here).

Focus

Konrad, age one, focusing on the lights, rather than the animals

When Konrad was one, I took him to the county fair to see the animals – pigs, goats, cows, chickens, and sheep. I expected him to be excited, because he loved animals.

But instead, he became quiet. Unsure. His attention shifted away from the animals and toward the lights in the barn. He pointed at them and stared, completely absorbed. It was as if the animals had faded from his sight.

Looking back, I can see how his focus on the lights was a way of staying grounded in a loud, smelly, and unpredictable environment. The lights were steady. Predictable. Safe.

He wasn’t disconnecting. He was coping. I’ve since learned that this kind of focused attention can help many autistic people manage sensory overload and reduce anxiety.

Perception 

Around age three, I showed Konrad a photo of a friend holding her newborn baby. Konrad kept saying cat, and I gently corrected him, pointing out the baby in the picture. Still, he insisted – cat. Then I looked again. Way off in the background was a blurry orange cat. I hadn’t seen it at all – but Konrad had.

Back then, I didn’t realize this kind of detail-focused perception – and his incredible memory – could be a part of how autism shows up. He often notices background details that I completely miss. That kind of perception – precise, curious, and observant – is one of his many strengths.

Communication Differences

At age one, Konrad had several basic words – Mom, dog, and even Josh (yes, for Josh Groban). His pediatric check-up looked great, and everything seemed on track.

But over the next several months, his speech didn’t follow the typical path. By age three, while many kids his age were speaking in full sentences, Konrad’s verbal speech was still more limited.

And yet, also at three, he had already taught himself to read – a form of hyperlexia. By age four, he was using typing and spelling to communicate. If I couldn’t understand a word he was trying to say, he had a clear workaround: he’d spell it.

We adapted together, finding communication methods that worked for him. I wrote messages down when I needed to share information, especially for transitions, which were easier for him to process in writing. Simple note cards with phrases like “In five minutes, we’ll get into the car” made a big difference.

And when he needed to express something clearly, he’d either spell it out or type it on a tablet.

Around age six, his verbal speech became more fluent, but even before that, we understood each other just fine. We communicated – in his way – and it worked.

Communication – I learned – was about connection, not just speech. (For more on hyperlexia, check out a fuller story here).

From Embracing the Early Signs of Autism to Creating a Foundation of Self-Advocacy

Konrad is now 12. He’s an amazing, perceptive kid with big dreams. He wants to be a linguist and an inventor. He has notebooks full invention sketches and is saving up for his own 3D printer to build his own prototypes.

The early years brought challenges, absolutely. And public school didn’t end up being the right fit for us. But over time, we’ve learned how to navigate those challenges in ways that work for our family, by focusing on strengths and building a strong foundation of self-advocacy.

One of our most important tools is collaborative problem solving. Konrad is part of the conversation. He offers ideas, helps weigh solutions, and knows that we have options.

In today’s world, loud voices in the media still reduce autism to stereotypes and fear-based narratives. Those portrayals don’t reflect our reality. They don’t reflect how we’re learning, growing, and advocating together.

So we focus instead on the spaces where we’re valued – and the people who lead with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to grow.

If you’re noticing early signs of autism in your child, my advice is simple: stay curious. Meet differences with compassionate curiosity. Honor your child’s way of being in the world. Build on their strengths.

Every autistic child experiences the world in their own unique way – through different perceptions, responses, and rhythms. And every child deserves to be seen, supported, understood, and celebrated.

 Jen with Cool Wiring

Author’s Note

This post was written with Konrad’s full permission, as part of our shared effort to support other families through uplifting, strengths-based storytelling.

After difficult experiences in the public school system – experiences that deeply impacted both of my children’s self-worth – I chose to remove them from that environment. Together, we began rebuilding their sense of identity.

Our family created this platform as a way to reclaim and celebrate the meaningful, often overlooked aspects of being neurodivergent. We focus on strengths. We highlight differences with pride. And we hope our stories help other families do the same.

Disclaimer

This post is intended for informational and awareness purposes only and is aimed at supporting parents and caregivers. The child featured is my own, and all images are shared respectfully, without identifying information beyond first names.

Every autistic child is unique. These early signs reflect just one personal experience and are not intended as a diagnostic tool. Please consult a qualified professional for evaluation or support.